Under the Sea Party!

When your wee lad has a facination with crustaceans, it’s no surprise that he asks for an under the sea party! So this mama had to deliver.

Thankfully, we are about to redo our back room, so it was emptied of furniture and my dear sweet fireman let me draw on the walls. It made for a great backdrop.

I spent quite a bit of time on Pinterest- and came up with a kid friendly food plan. Which of course involved a lot of sweets because it’s still technically the week between Christmas and New Years where calories don’t count.

These little gummy crabs are so easy to make! Candy, toothpicks and some candy eyes. Just watch the littles with the toothpicks.

I added apples to give reassure parents that it’s not all sugar. Lol!

Typically these are made with large pretzels, but the under 5 crowd don’t always like the salt. So I substituted breadsticks - kid friendly win!

What’s easier than a plate full of sugar? 

We added some “crabwiches” - these are super simple! Croissants with ham and cheese. 

Some lighter fare - the pepper octopus was easy to create with the addition of two google eyes. 

Oysters with a hidden pearl! 

And of course, a crab cake. 

The big move!

I knew in the end it would be worth it. The packing. The sorting. The chaos. The uncertainty. Even living in the small rental was an adventure to say the least.

But as we settle in to our new farm, I am filled with such gratitude. The beauty of this place is a daily reminder of how fortunate we were to be in the right place at the right time.

Finally...home

It's raining...

"Mama, can I go out in the rain?"

I immediately thought of so many practical reasons to say no.

The rain is too heavy.

You will get soaked.

You could get sick.

More laundry to clean up.

But then I looked down at that inquisitive face, and I remembered just for a moment...in the far reaches of my 40 something brain...the joy of playing in the rain.

So I said yes. 

Sometimes mamas, you just have to say yes. Yes to getting dirty, yes to getting wet. Just...yes. Because quite simply, that is how memories are made.

The move begins

Well, we haven't found our next farm yet. It's all a bit up in the air at the moment, as we tread out into the uknown.  Our current farm sold, to folks who are making their first move into agriculture just as we did over 5 years ago.


We have been on the hunt for months, driving country lanes hoping to spot something that we feel is home. So far... no .luck.


In our minds eye, we can see what it will look like. A big old sprawling Victorian farm house, a bank barn with a stone foundation, and a driveway lined with maple trees.  We have yet to find it.


So in the meantime, we will be renting a wee bungalow from a fellow friend in agriculture. He built it originally to house his aging parents, but it will suit us well. We can still be a part of the spring planting and summer harvest, and we will have a lovely view of rolling fields from the porch.


The packing commences this week.


Part of me is very nostalgic, as I look at this farm and marvel at how much life changed over the past few years.  The animal husbandry we have learned, the knowledge of agriculture, the network we have built, and of course - two wonderful little people to share it all with.


What will the next adventure bring? I have no idea. But we are ready.  

Gratitude and love

We are trying to teach the children about gratitude. So for Valentine's Day we created a gratitude tree. We named all of the things we are grateful for.

Take note - ham made the list. I suppose we can all be grateful for ham? Lol

Connections

There is a special connection that exists between siblings. With my own sisters, it's fair to say that they know me sometimes better than I know myself.  They are great advocates, critical analyzers, staunch supporters, and ultimately the ones you know will tell you what they really think about your new hot pink handbag.


It warms my heart to see the relationship developing between my children. Yes, they argue. They fight. There is the occasional time out  with a reminder that "we do not hit our sister with the Star Wars light sabre", but there is also a whole lot of this.  My son frequently tells me that "she is a good baby sister mama, we should keep her"


Yes son, yes we should.

Toilet training

There is so much pressure these days for parents to push children to toilet train. Mothers and fathers devote entire weekends to it. There are countless books and theories. 

So let me add my story.

We decided not to toilet train our son. Yup. You heard me. We didn't toilet train. Oh don't get me wrong, when he was 2.5 years old I felt pressured and I bought a potty. I bought the books. The toilet seat insert. I even made a half hearted attempt one weekend with pull ups. But it went nowhere. 

A month ago I bought a big beautiful Bruder truck, and I placed it on the back of the toilet, still in the package. I put a bright blue basket on the counter, full of dinky cars, suckers, play dough, and other dollar store trinkets. I explained to my son, as he looked on with wide eyes, that if he went to the bathroom in the toilet he could choose something from the basket. And furthermore, if he chose to wear underwear and have no accidents for a week , he would get the truck.

He looked at me and said "Mama, don't push me."  Kid you not. 

So I left it. Every now and then I would say, "don't you want to use the toilet?" And he would say no. 

Then suddenly, about two weeks ago, he just started to use the toilet on his own. He even washed his hands on his own. He shuts the door and says "I will call you if I need help".  

He turns 3 on January 1. He did this all on his own. When the week passed without a single accident (he even let's me know when we are out!) you have never seen a boy who was so proud to earn a truck. 

It's been several weeks now, and he continues to be toilet trained. Without any hard core intervention on our part. 

So moms and dads - relax. I promise they will get it in their own time. 

One more minute

There are times that I realize as a mother just how precious these moments are. You won't always want me to see you jump, watch a snail or listen to you sing. These moments are so fleeting. 

Today I watched you walking up the hill from the henhouse. Rubber boots. Shorts. Your bicycle helmet on. (You have a passion for wearing that helmet these days! Lol!) you are such a little boy. My toddler appears to be gone. In its place is this

mischievous boy.

So tonight - you asked me yet again to lie with you for one more minute. I said yes, but instead of setting the timer for one minute I set it for 20. And when it went off I set it for ten more. 

Because these minutes are fleeting. You won't always want your mama to lie with you in the dark. You won't always want to watch my face as I lie there still, beside you. Your little hand clasped in mine. "Love you mama" you whisper, not knowing that my mind is trying desperately to record every minute.  Your sweet toddler voice, the smell of your freshly washed hair. Before I know it you will be a teenager, begging me not to embarrass you in public with a kiss. 

One more minute mama. My sweet son, I will always have time for you.

Mother's Day

I often look at their little smiling faces, and I wonder how on earth I managed for so many years without them.  It's the small moments I try to capture, and burn into my memory. I fear that one day I will sit in a nursing home with nothing but memories, and I want to ensure that I have millions of sunny happy moments in the archives to conjure up at whim.


Moments like today when I lay on the couch with my 6 month old daughter, and marvelled at the small chubby arms; the navy romper with white polka dots and a giant daisy; the tiny whisps of red hair sticking up on her head; the smell of baby shampoo on her skin; and her blue blue blue eyes looking into mine. Her smile lights up my heart.


Or at bedtime with my son. In the stillness of bedtime, he puts a hand either side of my face imploring me to tell him one more time all of the people in his life who love him. We go through the list, and his smile grows larger with each name. We end on "and who loves you most of all, to the moon and back and more than a million bowls of ice-cream?"


"Mama" he whispers in the dark, his smile so enormous that my heart creaks under the weight of it.


I kiss his small forehead, and hope that he doesn't notice my eyes are a little wet.


Another day gone. Another moment to put away in the memory bank. Another shining bright moment, that I hope I never forget.


My children may wonder one day how on earth they will manage without me as they "leave the nest", but I will always know that it's I who will feel the emptiness that time will bring.


Being a mother is bittersweet. Enjoy each moment.


Happy Mother's Day

Spring parsnips

Ruth was full of old wives tales, and age old advice. She told me to leave my parsnips in the ground until spring.

I was quite certain that if I followed that advice they would rot. 

Well last fall at 8 months pregnant the garden lay forgotten. Thus the parsnips sat in the ground all winter.

Today was a balmy plus 5, and so baby and I ventured out to begin cleaning up the garden beds. Here's what we found - lovely sweet parsnips! It seems Ruth was right. 

Time

With my first child, time stood still. Days passed in a blurry haze of cuddles and naps together. It seemed sometimes that weeks lasted forever.

With my second I feel that time is squirming out of my grasp, and I am unable to pin it down long enough to enjoy the moment.  Days fly by in a flurry of activity. Swimming lessons, birthday parties, play dates, errands - and the endless stream of laundry.

I keep reminding myself to be still. To put down the phone. To ignore the dishes and get down on the floor to play trains. To build forts out of blankets and pillows, and turn empty toilet roll tubes into eye spy glasses. To take a moment and stop, and really see my children.  The way the sun turns their small red heads into a million shades of auburn. The way their cheeks dimple as they smile. 

The other day my son leaned into me as I was cooking dinner. "Mama?" He said, imploring me to come down to his level. 

So I did.

He took my cheeks in his hands and kissed me. 

Then he ran off to play with his fire trucks. 

I took a snapshot in my mind and tucked it into memory. 

More toddler ideas

What did mothers do before the Internet? I mean seriously - it's a never ending source of amazing ideas.

Baking soda and coloured vinegar.

You can see where this is going. I had no eye droppers so I used straws and spoons. Not such a great idea. Next time I need the eye droppers.

But he loved it. The fizzing, the colours. It was a big hit!

Painting with a toddler

So keeping a toddler busy is no easy task. I wouldn't trade this time for the world though. To be able to spend another year with my wee farm boy is so amazing. He is such a joy to be around and has a great sense of humour.

I found a use for old wrapping paper. Taped on the wall with painters tape it makes a great canvas for him to paint on.  He was surprisingly good about not panting on the walls, but did ask if he could paint me. 

No.

And could he please paint his sister?

No.

The dog?

Ah, no.

I did allow him to paint his feet and walk on the canvas. I can't be the mom who says no to everything, right?

2015, here we come!

Well thank the good lord we haven't had a house showing since before the baby was born. I looked around today and clearly the fog is lifting from my post baby mind - all I could think was "WHAT A MESS!".


Ok. It really wasn't that bad.  But I am certainly NOT winning any Pintrest awards at the moment. I have 5 baskets of folded laundry to put away. The toys in the family room have taken over. And I don't think I have vacuumed our bedroom in weeks.


So I told hubby he was on kid duty and I made a considerable dent in things today. I even went as far as to rearrange the furniture.  Gawd that man is such a good sport. We get two hours while the wee farmboy naps, and I as I see hubby eyeing up the comfy sofa for a snooze I say "let's move the furniture" with glee. 


So he did. And then he made me lunch. He's a keeper. Seriously.


It's amazing how when my space is organized and clean, my mind is more organized. I can think better. 2015 is off to a good start. Now we simply need to get this place sold, as we have our eye on a 100 acre farm.

Here's hoping the cards fall into place! 

Oh. And I finally got the laundry put away. 

Slowly getting there

Christmas is days away and I feel so absolutely unprepared. Thank god I did most of my shopping before the baby arrived.  Between that and online shopping I think I have managed to cover most of my gift giving needs.


We decided to do photos of the kids for Christmas.  Partly in an attempt on my part to appear normal, and feel normal.  I am really pushing myself to do two things every day.  Fold laundry.  Clean out a junk drawer.  Clean the bathroom sink.  Teensy baby steps towards finding my old self again.


When you have the first baby there is a sea of visitors following the baby's arrival.  They come armed with lasagna and gifts, and it's a heartwarming way to not only welcome the new baby but also to ensure that the new mother puts lipstick on and gets out of bed.


With a second child visitors are few and far between.  So the unfortunate thing is that new mothers don't have the same motivation to keep the house tidy and get themselves "back to normal". 


It's been a real struggle for me. I am frustrated that my body isn't returning to it's old self as quick as I would like it to.  I over did things the first few weeks physically (hard to believe, I mean seriously? Stairs are that bad for you?) and now I may have popped a stitch internally. Jesus Murphy that sucker hurts.


I am happy that I can drive again, although the idea of carting baby and toddler out seems overwhelming. I just need to find my groove again. I remember with the wee farmboy I was incredibly nervous on those first solo trips. So I know it will get easier.


When you are at your grocery store next, and the mom in front of you is juggling a toddler and a baby - please be patient. Smile, and say an encouraging word. It could very well be me.

Baby blues or just recovering?

Don't overdo it.
Take it easy.
Remember to sleep when the baby sleeps.


Apparently the folks who provide advice to mothers post C-section don't have a toddler to deal with at home.  Hubby is beyond fantastic.  I mean, seriously beyond.  I think I am suffering from mild post partum, and I have to push myself to shower and join in the comings and goings of the day.  Fortunately, it's very mild, and I completely adore this new little red headed girl.  (They say that post partum depression can lead to feelings of dislike for the baby - so I am not sure if it's post partum or if I am simply recovering from the surgery and supposed to feel this way.) I simply feel... blah. I can't be motivated to do much. I have absolutely no get up and go which isn't like me.  Everything just seems so overwhelming.


Hubby has been taking on the lion's share of household activities. Making breakfast, taking care of the wee farmboy, tidying up. You name it. He's on it.  Add to that he has been bringing me tea and ensuring that I am comfortable. I am almost at the 4 week mark - and I know if I can make it to 6 weeks I will begin to feel like myself again. 


Right now having a shower seems like such a monumental task. I keep seeing these new mom's on Facebook, all put together with their lipstick on and their hair in place. I am lucky if I manage to get all of the shampoo out of my hair and find a pair of track pants that fit over the incision site.


"Off to my first post baby work out! So excited" - I don't know whether to be jealous or relieved that this isn't in the cards for me. Given how I feel these days I would opt for the latter.


Now excuse me as I curl up on the couch with my tea and my wee girl...and do absolutely nothing.

Early days

Our dainty farm girl... It amazes me how different she is from her brother. Perhaps having a colicky baby first was a blessing - as this seems so simple.

I am enjoying these early days. They are a sleep deprived blur, where day and night blend together.  However even without the rhythm of day and night, I am still managing to carve out moments to remember.  The other night, we sat together in the rocking chair, looking at the stars and listening to the coyotes. 

I felt so blessed to be warm and safe with my newborn. As we enter the holiday season, let's remember to be grateful for what we have. 

What to expect from a C-Section

When I had my son, I was all set with my natural birth plan and then I ended up in emergency with some sort of virus.  Less than 8 hours later he was delivered via C-section one month before his due date.


At the time, I had done little reading about C-sections. Why would I? I was entirely confident that my birth plan would be adhered to, and it didn't even cross my mind that a surgical intervention would be needed.


This time around I was prepared. Given my age and the fact that it has only been 2 years since the last C-section my OB strongly recommended we go that route again.  So I did my research and thought I was set to go.


However, even with all of that reading under my belt I was still thrown a few surprises.  So I want to share the information with other mothers in the hopes that they will be as prepared as they can be!






Before your surgery

1. Pack the freezer with meals. Trust me, you aren't going to feel like cooking. Standing on your feet for more than a few moments will be uncomfortable. You will be busy trying to care for a newborn, so the microwave will be your new found friend.
2. Ensure you have Tylenol in the house.
3. Pack your bag for the hospital. Just because you have a C-section date scheduled doesn't mean that the baby won't arrive early. Our daughter came 4 days before her scheduled surgery date.
4. Buy some Depends and put them in your hospital bag.  The hospital will give you some very awkward and bulky pads to use, trust me - the Depends are easier and will go up high enough over the incision site so as not to irritate it.
5. Discuss with your OB how you would like the surgery to go. Do you want to hold the baby immediately? Will you be breastfeeding? Is it ok for them to give the baby formula? Who will go with the baby?
6. If you will be breastfeeding, pack a Madela Nipple Shield in your bag, size 24.  You will be so swollen from the IV that this will assist you in the first week or so and ensure baby can latch.

During your surgery

1. Decide if you want an epidural or a spinal block. They are not the same thing.
2. You will be given a catheter. It's awkward, but won't hurt.
3. You will be entirely naked in front of a room full of strangers. Don't worry, they put a "curtain up" so you can't see you are naked.  Pretend you are at the spa. Try not to think of alien abduction scenarios.
4. Speak up. I know it feels strange. You are lying on the table while they slice you open. But don't be afraid to tell them how you are feeling, or if something feels uncomfortable. Tell the anesthesiologist if you feel hot or nauseous in any way.
5. If you chose to see the baby before it is whisked away, be prepared for the fact that you may cry and be upset.  Of course you will be! Your sweet newborn has been taken from your tummy and is now gone.  Rest assured that whomever you have chosen to be there for the baby will be showering it with love until you come out of the recovery room.  However, if you feel nothing - don't feel bad about it. You are drugged up lying naked on a table being stitched up by strangers. You are not exactly yourself at the moment.

During Recovery

1. The nurses need to see that movement is coming back to your limbs. So keep trying to move those legs. If they can see that you are improving they will send you off to reunite with your baby.

What to expect in hospital

1. Our hospital keeps a C-section patient for two days following surgery. The first day you will have limited movement in your legs. Keep trying to move them and when you are able to, begin to do circles with your feet.
2. The nurses will need to come in and inspect the incision, and will also wash and rinse your entire "nether region".  So don't be surprised when they come in armed with wash bottles and dry towels. At this point, all dignity has been lost but you won't care.
3. You will need someone to help with the baby and bring it to you to nurse as you will be unable to get up.
4. Women around you in other rooms will be going into labour and having babies. Within hours they will be up and walking around with their babies. Don't let it bug you.
5. You will likely be given Ketorolac (a pain killer) on a drip, along with your IV.  You will also be give Oxytocin to shrink the uterus.  All of these fluids are going to make you swell. Keep drinking LOTS of water to flush out your kidneys.  The nurses will want to see that you are passing gas before they allow you to go home, so eat and drink.
6. Once you can move your legs, they will allow you to sit up. I can't stress this enough - the sooner you sit up, the sooner you walk (albeit at a shuffle) the faster you will recover.
7. On day two my catheter was removed, this was a huge milestone! I could now shuffle to the bathroom.  Even dragging the IV pole it felt like recovery.
8. End of day two they removed the IV and I was switched to oral painkillers.  The oral painkillers are not as effective, so be prepared for some pain.  Use a small pillow to support your tummy as you walk.  Try not to hunch if you can. The sooner you stand upright, the sooner you will have less pain.
9. Back pain is to be expected. The spinal block can give back spasms, so don't be caught off guard. They can be super painful.

Once home

1. Keep walking. It is so important to keep moving.
2. Come off the pain meds as soon as you can and switch to Tylenol. The pain meds (in my case, Toradol) made the edema worse.
3. Do not lift anything heavier than the baby.
4. Watch the swelling of your legs. If after 5 days you are still swollen, get some prescription compression socks from the doctor.
5. If you are breastfeeding, DO NOT take a diuretic.  It may dry up your breast milk. Try natural diuretics instead. Lemon water, pineapple juice....
6. Back spasms from the spinal block happen in 1/100 women. I was one of those lucky ducks. They are incredibly painful. Like "knock you to your knees" painful.  The Tylenol will dull the pain, but really there is not much you can do. Grin and bear it. Mine began to pass around the second week.
7. You will still look pregnant for some time. Get used to people asking when you are due even though you are carrying a newborn.  Try not to be envious of the moms who delivered naturally and now fit into their skinny jeans.  
8. Speaking of pants...you might not fit your maternity pants. The additional swelling takes you up a size.  Enjoy wearing your husbands track pants. It's amazing how creative your wardrobe gets.  Black and grey are your friends.
9. Pyjamas are allowed in public, especially if it's just a trip out to Walmart. By this point you have such cabin fever you won't care.  Enjoy the fresh air.

Use this time to rest, relax and enjoy your little one.  Within two to three weeks you will begin to feel like yourself again, and within 6-8 weeks you may even begin to feel normal. 


Have you had a C-section? Care to share your experience?

She's here!

She arrived 4 days early, by C-Section.  6lbs 8oz.  Our wee farm girl is a precious little bundle.  I guess she didn't like the idea of us pre-selecting her birthday?  She arrived today at 10:30AM.


I am recovering. It might be a while.

One more week...

As I wash pink blankets, and fold tiny pink sleepers - it still seems a bit surreal that our wee girl will be here in less than a week.  My laundry room is awash with girly colours, which is a big change for a household that is governed by dump trucks and tractors.


Then I spot it. The wee John Deere outfit that we bought last week. And I realize that even though her world will be full of pinks and frills - she will be a farm girl at heart. She will love tractors and dirt, and her overalls. She will jump from the haystacks and know how to change a tire.  She will find joy in feeding a baby lamb in the kitchen, and watching spring chicks hatch.
How do I know this? Because her mama does too. :)